Rites of Passage...Celebrations of a Man's Wheel of Life

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Cerredwen	Rites of Passage...Celebrations of a Man's Wheel of Life	Lead	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (11/17/08 02:21 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tags : pagan, paganism, witch, witchcraft, wicca, magick, ritual, spells, rite, druid, druidism, celtic, old ways, info, lore, wheel of life, meditations, rites ofpassage for men Rites of Passage By Wyrmwood Is age the only determination for the achievement of the next "tier" of seniority, or are there trials of initiation which must be performed/endured before the attainment of the next phase? (The various stages of male physical and psycho-social development which are characterized by your path.) (an "In my opinion" disclaimer here - I am interested in hearing different opinions!) There are some tiers which are not related to age: Fatherhood is definitely a trial that has no age barrier - and some men go through their life without ever becoming one (to me, fatherhood is more than just donating sperm) Warriorhood (Armed forces, protecting your family, protecting others weaker than yourself) is a trial that some men will never have to face, and others will. It is a right-of-passage to know that you can protect those that need it - and the only way to pass this rite is to do it. Although men who do not do it should not be considered "below standard" - I do believe its a right-of-passage, but I don't believe that all men go through it or need to go through it. I personally feel that I haven't. Time will tell whether it is something that I will face one day. Age/maturity stages of man (general outlines) * boy - gender is an abstract concept, knows there are differences between boys and girls, but that's about it. * teenager - gender is an issue, girls become strange, interaction with other boys rather than girls, learning how to be a man (or adult) * young man - late teens usually - entering the world of the adult (cars, alcohol, relationships). Need for maturity and taking responsibility. * mature man - late 20's to mid 30's - being in positions of responsibility, contributing to society, being a role-model for boys/teenagers/young men, has variety of life experience. * elder/grandfather - 50's to 60's - being in position of advisor. Huge array of life experience - bless actions of young men and mature men, guides teenagers, story teller. How do you feel when you interact with these hierarchies? Do you believe the interaction to be better facilitated by a hierarchy due to knowing where you stand with these folks? Sometimes I think it would help me and my relationship with people in these "hierarchies" if I (and they) knew where I stood and they (and I) knew where they stood, maybe... I know that through my life, I have often created my own personal "rite of passage" due to a personal need for one and none being offered or available. This was before I even knew what a "rite of passage" was. Certainly in a "pagan community" there is need for a bit of social structure which is currently absent. To be a part of that community and interact with it, it is essential to have the male age/experience hierarchies so that boys and men know their place and know not only what is expected of them, but what will be expected of them at the next stage - and so what their place in society is. Do you ever feel marginalized by that hierarchy because you are outside of it? No - its just a different recognized stage of experience with its own benefits and inconveniences. I have men in my own stage to relate to, elders to get advise from, and teenagers and children to teach and be a role model for. Each stage has its place and is no "better" than any other stage. For instance, fatherhood is something that only other fathers really understand. You can share your experiences, fears and ask questions with men without that experience, but only men with that experience can give you the answers that you seek. How do the folks from more rigidly structured paths of spiritual and social development feel when they interact with self-initiated individuals? Does this cause you problems in establishing an appropriate mode of interaction with such people? Well, I guess this question doesn't apply to me as I feel I am "self-initiated", but from my position, I guess I am a little jealous of those men who have had the support to go through a "rite of passage" and be recognized by other men as being at a particular stage in life. I guess part of it is the need to "be accepted" but not so far as to degrade "who" I am. I am not prepared to "become" a Yobbo, a rev-head, etc to be accepted. The person that I am is more important to me than my place in society (although my place in society - not necessary the greater society but, for instance, amongst those I relate to or have similar beliefs to my own - is important to some extent) Personally, I believe that men (and boys) need the support of other men - and a "rite of passage" helps to facilitate this. However, a "rite of passage" must have meaning to the individual and the group (and even, in part, to the "society" - see my description of "society" above). The most important aspect of a "rite of passage" is being supported by other men in that stage who have the knowledge and experience to support you in your step into the relatively unknown and yet-to-experience: Being told that its ok to be afraid, taking the step with support, understanding that you have crossed from one "societal level" to another, taking on the responsibilities (and perks) of that level, and sharing your experiences with other men on that level. This is something that all men go through whether recognized or not. I believe that a "rite of passage" at each stage, where your crossing of that societal level is recognized by other men, would help us find our place in life, in our society, and within ourselves. Blessings to all May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~ We swear by Peace and Love to stand, Heart to Heart and Hand to Hand. Mark, O Spirit, and hear us now, confirming this, our Sacred Vow. ~Druidic Prayer of Unity~ Last Edited By: Cerredwen 11/18/08 05:44 PM. Edited 1 time.
Cerredwen		#1	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (11/17/08 02:31 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Ideas On Rites Of Passage And Initiation By Lance Rite of Passage: From boy to Youth: Age from 11-14 This rite of passage is a welcoming ceremony to mark the start of the journey of a new young man. This is the time when a youth takes more responsibility for his actions and starts to look at how he can help provide for his family and community. This is also a time for him to look at his spirituality and decide where his beliefs are taking him and if this is still an appropriate set of beliefs. I feel there are several aspects that should be covered in this rite of passage. 1) The boy-to-become-youth needs the support of the men in the community. The rite should either be held during a men's gathering or be a significant event during a gathering of the larger community. (it could be held during any season, but if it feels appropriate, you could have it where boy-youth rite is held in spring, youth-man rite held in midsummer, man-father rite held in autumn, father-elder rite held at samhain and a farewell rite in midwinter. Or you could just have it when most convenient. I would also suggest that a youth rite would include other youths and boys, as well as men, whereas a youth-man rite would have men only 2) Possibly some form of physical challenge. We tend to place greater value in things we feel we have worked hard to achieve. Holding a hunt or a quest for an object This can be adjusted for each youth to accommodate experience, skills etc. could be an obstacle/adventure course with clues, where they have to use both their physical and mental skills. At each checkpoint, they are verbally given the next clue by a man of the tribe, with a prize of some sort at the finish. 3) A time of reflection. This may be through the use of ritual and/or meditation. Allows the youth to look at his past and what it means to let go of being a child. What is expected of him in the future - how will his life become different as he moves into the life of a young man. What is expected of him as a youth. A time to look at and discuss what will happen for him in the next few years - physically, mentally and emotionally as he grows towards manhood. * The ritual may include a calling of the gods/ess' for a blessing, raising energy, chanting, drumming, focused on what is happening for the new youth. * The youth should be encouraged/guided in being an active participant in this ritual by his father/elder/those he acknowledges and respects. * Meditation - Look at the wheel of the year as it relates to godhood and where he fits into this pattern. 4) A physical symbol to be passed to the youth at the end of the rite as a mark of his passage - suggest a simple staff or belt knife. This could be the object that the challenge was for, and taken and passed around to all the men, and of course, blessed. A knife (even a pocketknife) is a great gift and shows responsibility.) * These things are practical tools and can be consecrated as spiritual/magical tools as well. * They are a sign that he can begin helping to provide and/or protect his community. They are also a physical representation of what he has been through. *** Would be appropriate to be given by father or close male relative (Older brother, uncle, cousin…) or if none of these are available then an older friend or a Community elder. Once the initial rite is concluded - celebrate in an appropriate manner. Feast or other The new youth will probably need some support from time to time. If he has no male parental support - how can we (as community) organise to give the support he needs?? This is certainly difficult in our society, but if those closest to him can make the time to check on him from time to time or let him know that if he needs to talk with one of us at anytime for whatever reason, that he can do so (and of course, how to contact us). That we also each take the time during, after or before the rite to talk with him about his life and maybe provide practical advice May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~ We swear by Peace and Love to stand, Heart to Heart and Hand to Hand. Mark, O Spirit, and hear us now, confirming this, our Sacred Vow. ~Druidic Prayer of Unity~
Cerredwen		#2	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (11/17/08 02:39 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Coming of Age Ritual Notes By Malakus Over the past weekend during an emotional upheaval I "Birthed" the concept for the ritual. I thought I would pass the concept on to you and see what you think. I have the ability to visualize a ritual from beginning to end, sometime with brief snatches of dialogue. It's like watching a play from the catwalks. This is how I see this ritual unfolding. The boy who is entering into Manhood will be abducted from the encampment where he is staying. The women of his Mother Grove will try to fight the men off from abducting the boy. When this skirmish is over and the boy is being taken off by the men the women will mourn the loss of the child. The boy will be stripped of his clothing and dressed in a deerhide loin cloth. He will then be blindfolded and his journey will begin. Where this ritual is being held there is approximately 5 miles of paths which the boy will journey over. He will be led by his Father who will carry a lamp to light his and his son's way. At the first prescribed stop the boy will be addressed by Herne. Herne, will speak to the boy of his wild nature, what it is like to be the hunter and the hunted. He will charge the boy with the responsibilities of becoming a man through Him. He will then tell the boy that He will meet him at the appointed place in the appointed hour. Never revealing when and where that is. Herne will withdraw into the woods as the Father and son begin to journey again. At the second stop the Father and boy will meet the Green Man. He represents the boy's earthy nature. He is the boy sexual responsibility as a carrier of sacred seed which is necessary to begin life. That he must act intelligently when it comes to the act of procreation. The Green Man as well will tell the boy that they will meet in the appointed placed at the appointed hour. The Green Man will stand in silence as the Father and boy leave. At the third stop the Father and boy will meet Loki/Rainbow Dancer. When I visualized the archetype I saw a myriad number of colors and flashed of refracted light. Loki will speak to the boy of his dreams, wishes and hope He will inform the boy that these are necessary even as a man. That he should not give them up but allow them to mature as he matures. Loki will also tell the boy that they will meet at the appointed place in the appointed hour. The Father and son will continue there journey until they reach the last stop on their journey. Here they will meet the Magus who is robed in black and you are unable to see his face. The Magus will speak to the boy of his inner true self, his highest ideals, his magical self. He symbolizes Divine Wisdom. When he is finished speaking he will also tell the boy of meeting in the appointed place in the appointed hour. All the archetype will be wearing masks that will be indicative of them. Herne with horns, Green Man with a mask made of leaves, Loki with the face of the fox, and the Magus with a black mask which entirely covers his face. All the other masks will not cover the mouth area. My Spirit Brother in Akron, OH is creating the masks and the staves for the four archetypes. After the journey has been completed he will be brought to the gateway of the ritual are Prior to the ritual itself the boy will be asked to select something that symbolizes his childhood and that he should bring it with him. When the boy is abducted those who abduct him must be sure to acquire this childhood symbol to be given to the father to take on the journey. At the gateway the father will stop the boy and inform him that he must now give up this childhood symbol in order to enter into the world of men. The boy must surrender the symbol before the rite can continue. The symbol will be left at the gateway. I didn't see a traditional circle being cast, rather a ring of men hand in hand passing energy to form the circle. I keep hearing "a hand to a hand, to feed a hand" or a "brother to a brother". The circle will open to admit the father and boy The boy is still blindfold and will be place before the balefire facing the gateway through which he just entered. I see four men at various stage of the lives serving as Priests. One is just past puberty, the next has himself just become a father, the next being around 40-50 years (the age of the God at the time of his decline in power) and the last being the Grandfather. The four will each evoke one of the four archetypes that spoke to the boy during his journey. The Priest just past puberty will evoke Loki, the new father will evoke the Green Man, the 40-50 year old will evoke Herne, and Grandfather will evoke the Magus. Each will be evoked separately and when each has been evoked will enter the circle from where they have been waiting out of sight of the circle itself. Each will speak further to the boy of his mystery and present the boy with a "gift" which will enable the boy to commune with the archetype in times of trial in his life as a man. The last to speak will be Herne. Just as he is finishing what he has to say he will be interrupted by the final archetype. This is the Great Mother. She will speak to the boy of his union with her and to truly become a man he must understand her magics as well. Herne and the Great Mother will argue (choice of words, maybe not the best) over who this boy/man belong. The Great Mother informs Herne that the boy/man belongs to Her. Herne informs Her that She was there at his conception and birth and that She will have him in death but now the boy/man belongs to Him. My Spirit Brother has a staff with a deer hoof end which I see being placed on the boy's heart while Herne claims him as his. During the claiming the boy's blindfold will be removed and the boy/man will see Herne for the first time with his hoof on his chest over his heart. After the claiming is finished the boy will be approached by the four Priests for the anointing. I have an anointing already written for this part of the rite. While the anointing is being done the four persons who are taking the roles of the archetypes will leave and return dressed as they wish. The boy will be taken to his father who will first greet the boy/man now as a fellow man and a guardian of the male mystery. The father will then take the newly made man to the North quarter where the Great Mother will speak to the newly made man bestowing Her gift to him. When the Great Mother speaks She will be heard only and not seen as if Her voice were being carried on the wind. The newly made man will be taken to each man in turn in the circle who will give the newly made man a gift. I see the gift being wisdom something that they have learned of life and that they wish to pass on to help the newly made man's journey through life. As each man has an occupation which requires particular tools so does life require its tools. When all have granted their gift the newly made man will be asked to bestow his blessing upon a horn of ale which symbolized the cup of brotherhood of all peoples. The cup will be shared with all in the circle and will symbolized the universality of men. This is where I see the ritual ending. I see a simple feast being held where the ritual has been. More cups will be filled, stories share in the spirit of brotherhood. As the night wears on towards dawn the newly made will be left to himself, the balefire and the night. He will return to the campsite from which he was abducted no longer as a child but as a man with all the responsibilities of a man. May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~ We swear by Peace and Love to stand, Heart to Heart and Hand to Hand. Mark, O Spirit, and hear us now, confirming this, our Sacred Vow. ~Druidic Prayer of Unity~
Cerredwen		#3	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (11/17/08 02:44 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Passage Into Manhood A modern ritual for young men By Steven Foster One of the articles in Gender (IC#16) Spring 1987, Page 50 Copyright (c)1987, 1997 by Context Institute As I lived out my own passage I found lots of folk around me wanting to do the same. It was like the world was hungry for this kind of deep, and contagious, experience. So it is refreshing to find Foster's article spinning out new possibilities for boys (and men) that could be used in many contexts, from a Boy Scout troop or a YMCA camp to more informal settings. Steven Foster, with Meredith Little, co-founded and co-directed Rites of Passage, Inc. for ten years in Marin County, California. They now direct The School of Lost Borders (Big Pine, CA), a training facility in vision quest methods and traditions. They have accompanied more than 1000 young people and adults through various vision quest ceremonies. A companion piece to this is "The Vision Quest: Passing form Childhood to Adulthood" in Betwixt and Between: Initiations Ancient and Modern (New York: Open Court, 1987, ed. Louise Mandi). - Rick Gossett MODERN AMERICAN MALES possess few meaningful, ceremonial means of formally marking their passage from boyhood to manhood. What our culture does provide (high school "commencement," diver's license, the armed services, higher education, voting rights, drinking rights, employment, the age of 21, possible marriage and fatherhood) can hardly be said to comprise a coherent rite of passage. Now that nearly 50% of American marriages end in divorce, the father and mother must prepare their manchild for adulthood separately, in different homes, often with contradictory values. Sometimes the influence of the father in the upbringing of his son is negligible or nil. Sometimes the sexual passage, perhaps the single most important adult initiation, is ignored, avoided, or distorted by the parents. The young man is left to piece together the meaning of his sexuality with his peers and such cultural "aids" as the mass media. In attempting to remedy this by designing a meaningful rite of passage into manhood, we must be aware that a modern passage rite does not contain the full social force of a traditional one. At the present time, our culture does not validate or focus on such rites. For a modern passage ceremony to gain the full power of an ancient one, the very drift of our culture toward secular materialism would have to be diverted. The young would have to grow up knowing, even as little tads, that they were getting ready for their rite of passage into manhood. But given the reality of our culture, we can only start with what we have and work to create the best model possible under the circumstances. THE COMPONENTS OF AN ADEQUATE MODEL Before describing a model rite in detail, I will mention a few key elements whose importance must be understood. The basic dynamic of a rite of passage is described by an anthropological formula that underlies all passage ceremonies. First depicted by Arnold van Gennep, this formula divides such rites into three phases: an end (severance from childhood), a middle (threshold) and a beginning (incorporation into manhood). In other words, a rite of passage begins with an ending and ends with a beginning. The Heart Of The Experience. The liminal (or threshold) phase, the central experience of the rite, is always performed in a secluded, wild zone, away from the encroachments of other humans. Within the sacred threshold enclosure, the boy becomes acquainted with his real Mother, symbolized by that part of himself known as the goddess. Through her, he senses his true place on earth and his true place in his body. She will show him the image of his own fear of death reflected in the natural world around him. The candidate's power place on Mother Earth will serve as both a womb and a tomb, a place of birth for the man and a place of death for the boy, in the mystery of the natural world. There he will learn the challenge of being a man, a son of the Mother, and a brother to all the things on the earth. He will emerge from the split husk of his childhood with the goddess at his right shoulder. The ritual birth of a man must take place here, in the wilderworld of his true home. It has always been so, and will always be. The boy must learn that his Mother cares for and rewards those who care for and respect her. He cannot learn this sitting in an enclosed room. He must leave the comfortable placenta of boyhood and enter the all-powerful world of the goddess. She visits with him in the winds; she shakes him in her fist of thunder. She blinds him with her lightning eyes. But mostly she blesses him with the birth of herself within him as his own eternal, internal guide. Taboo And Trial. A rite of passage always includes one or more ordeals or trials. The boy's experience of the trial is the formal confirmation of his readiness to take on the role of manhood. Though threshold trial models are many and diverse, certain taboos or means of being tried are common to most. One is the trial of aloneness or solitude. The boy is denied the support and comfort of others and is left alone in a wild place for extended periods of time. With no one to go to, he is forced to deal with outward circumstances by discovering inner resources of strength and resolve. Without other human eyes to judge him, the candidate watches himself "be." Apart from the accoutrements of his boyhood life, he learns what is essential to him - and what is not. The closed door of his heart opens to the beauty and mystery of the natural world around him. He becomes aware of and communicates with his natural relations, the other creature children of his Mother. Another restriction almost universally practiced is the prohibition of food. Among ceremonial tools, fasting is one of the oldest and finest. The candidate's psyche is opened to orchestration by the elements and rhythms of the natural world. Sunrise is his meat and noon is his wine. Although his physical strength wanes, another kind of strength gathers within him: the silent, immovable strength of the great mountains. Without ballast in his belly, he orients himself to the harmony and proportion of his Mother, compensating for loss of strength by applying the muscle of spirit. The goddess rushes into the breach and teaches him about surrender. A man who does not know the power of surrender does not possess true power. Male Midwives. One of the most important components in any model of an adequate rite of male passage is the presence of older men, or elders, who supervise and enrich the progress of the young men through the ceremonial birth canal. The older men help the younger men to bring themselves forth. They are not there to answer questions, but to ask them. They work to enable their charges to give birth to answers of their own, to know themselves. The midwives are exclusively male, because the time has come for the boys to become men, to live in, to respect, and to accept the men's world. A father must not be the principal midwife to his son, as the past often shadows them with too many habits for the father to be an effective teacher or the son an attentive learner. Discipline And Work. The classic archetypal male is unaccustomed to self-indulgence. He has learned to accept hardship as his lot. He does not brag of his harsh life nor does he secretly hope his woman will pity him. This is the man's way. Any passage rite for men must include components of hard work and self- discipline. The candidates must be expected to be part of the group, to pull their own weight. Hence, the young men facing adulthood must be gathered together within a communal order where each has his work and does it, as part of the preparation for the passage. They must be expected to accept the discipline that communal living brings and to seek the joy that comes with the exercising of self-control and the intimate knowledge of the meaning of work. Sexual Instruction. Sexual instruction and advice on marriage is traditionally a part of ceremonies of passage into manhood. The importance of a young man coming to understand and accept the power of his own sexuality cannot be underestimated. Any ceremony of passage into adulthood must take into account the young man's sexual growth and relationships with women (or men, if he is gay or bisexual). Open, honest, adult sexual education would seem necessary and appropriate. Supervised by wise, qualified male elders, such education might also include older women who can present the issue from the feminine point of view. Without the woman's input, the candidate's sexual education would only be half complete. Giving Birth To The Goddess. All young men require an official introduction to the intuitive, psychic, and mysterious darkness of their inner beings. They need to learn how to surrender, how to listen closely to an inner voice, how to clarify their values, how to pray, how to seek vision, and how to prophesy. All young men must ask themselves such questions as: "To whom do I pray?" "Who are my sacred ancestors?" "What is my life story?" "Why was I born?" "Why will I die?" "Who are the true heroes and teachers of my life?" "What gifts have I been blessed with?" "Who are my people?" Above all, young men must confront and ponder the meaning of death. Time spent with death will make an inward space in them, and the goddess will be born and live within this death space. Her presence will enrich his appreciation of life and enable him to face the justice of his own death. A MODEL FOR A MODERN RITE OF PASSAGE Applying these elements and more, I have created a model for a modern male rite of passage. What follows is a somewhat detailed description of that model. The boys who are candidates for passage into manhood formally begin the severance phase one week after their graduation from high school. They leave their childhood homes and families behind and assemble with older men, elders and midwives of the community, at a retreat in a secluded, natural place. There they remain for nearly one month, or one cycle of the moon, during which time they enact the rite of passage into manhood. During the month in which they are gathered together, the young men are not allowed to leave. The area is sealed off and consecrated for the purposes of the rite. No drugs, alcohol, or non-participants are allowed. Severance: The End Of Boyhood. The severance phase lasts approximately 20 days. It ends when each initiate crosses the threshold and undertakes the ordeal of the second phase. During the time of preparation, the candidates and the older men live together in large tents or yurts in groups of 25 (20 candidates, 5 midwives). All work and cooking are shared on a communal basis among the men. Each group is led through a disciplined routine of daily activities and classes by the five elders appointed for that purpose. Throughout the ceremony, from end to beginning, each midwife is responsible for the welfare of four candidates. His role is to facilitate their passage through the three phases of the ceremony, to personify the Mentor function to them, to aid them in giving birth to the goddess. He acts as surrogate uncle, teacher, counselor, wilderness guide, vocational guidance counselor, personal friend, or superior officer, according to what is needed at the moment. The curriculum for each group includes the following: Activities related to the natural environment and self-orientation within it: solo or group medicine walks, night hikes, environmental awareness studies, "survival" activities, and individual seclusion in a natural place at least once a day. Activities related to the use of the intuitive or "feeling" faculties: instruction in self-hypnosis, meditation, communication with other species, listening to the "inner voice," praying, and other "goddess" processes. Physical education with emphasis on cooperation, leadership, self-discipline, and consensus democracy: ropes and obstacle courses, relay races, and other activities involving group problem-solving. Sexual education, from the mechanics of "how to" and contraception to broader issues of relationship, including marriage and fatherhood: films, other audio- visual aids, and frank discussions of ethics and manners involving women elders as co-facilitators. Spiritual education with emphasis on individual religious expression: personal values, ethics and morality, storytelling, myths, discussions regarding death, after-life, life destiny, and personal ancestry. Preparation on an individual basis for incorporation as a man: the setting of goals and priorities, vocational counseling, clarification of personal ambitions regarding profession, and other concrete particulars involving life on the physical plane as a man. Ceremonies of togetherness and preparation: saunas, sweatlodges, communal bathing, or other activities involving self-purification. Activities relating to preparation for the threshold trial itself. On the eve of the threshold trial, all the candidates and midwives assemble together, and a celebration of the end of boyhood is held. At that time, each candidate is given an opportunity to symbolically enact his severance from childhood. Then the individual groups of 20 reassemble with their midwives and embark on their several journeys to remote, secluded areas where the threshold trial will be enacted. The following morning, the trial begins. Threshold: Passage Through The Goddess. Each candidate is removed from human contact. With just the barest essentials requisite to his survival, he lives alone in a wild, natural place for four days and nights. Though water will be provided during this time, he otherwise ingests neither food nor any other kind of sustenance, relying on the beneficence of Mother Earth to protect, nurture, and teach him. Depending on the advice of midwives, he may or may not undertake certain ceremonial activities during his time alone to heighten his receptivity to Nature, the goddess, and the spirits or deities he worships. But the basic elements of trial - aloneness, fasting, and exposure - must be preserved in as pure a state as possible. The threshold trial must be designed with an eye to harmony and balance. The idea is not to make the candidate suffer unduly for the sake of a "vision." What really matters is whether or not each candidate stands ready, with a pure heart, to receive impressions from his experience. With the limitation of his fast and his environment, each candidate should feel free to express himself as he desires, to investigate the many dimensions of his being as reflected by the natural setting, He may spend his time walking, sitting, meditating, sleeping, dreaming, praying, crying for a vision, writing in a journal, talking with the stones or the wind. Regardless of what he does, he will learn to yield, to be patient, to watch himself, to look within, and to listen to the voice of the goddess. The allegorical nature of the trial must be clear to each candidate. He is enacting a story with a mortal/immortal meaning whose main protagonist is both human and divine. The protagonist lives out the plot of the story in an environment having two levels of meaning. The goddess is both nature and his own anima. Fear is both a monster and an opportunity. A dream is both dream and divine visitation. Absence from the company of others is also presence with their spirits. Signs or messages appear in this natural/sacred world, carrying the same double meanings. An animal is both an animal and a spirit. A mountain is both a mountain and a god. A star is both a star and an angel. A mosquito is both a nuisance and a messenger. A sunrise is both a sunrise and a birth. The midwives should employ effective means to insure the safety of their charges while they are alone. A system of daily checks called the "buddy system," whereby their safety is ascertained (without their solitude being intruded upon) can be effectively used. Provision must also be made for the early return of candidates to basecamp, should they become ill, suffer accident, or otherwise be unable to continue their lonely vigils. The early return of a candidate, for whatever reason, must not be accounted shameful or a failure. Rather, he should be encouraged to come to an understanding of why he returned and what he learned from such an action. He must then be given another opportunity the following year to confirm his readiness by completing the passage. Incorporation: The Birth Of A Man. The incorporation of a boy into manhood is not without its difficulties. Birthing is accompanied by powerful contractions and much inner conflict. The new man meets and takes on the consequences of his boyhood life; he finds out whether or not he learned his lessons well. His return from the threshold is a delicate matter not to be treated lightly by the male elders. Now he is back in the "secular" world of his everyday body, and his life as a man stretches before him. The confusion and bewilderment of the incorporation phase (especially in its initial stages) can be mitigated by the elders' careful, ceremonial attention to the re-entry process. Each candidate's spirit must be brought back into his body and aided to reside there solidly. Each candidate must be debriefed and helped to see the meaning of his threshold experience. Each must be formally welcomed and recognized as a man, brought into the group of men, and given a symbolic gift by his midwives. Then a sauna, sweatlodge, or bathing ceremony can be held, at which time the dust of the threshold world can be flushed from the new men's bodies and prayers said in thanksgiving for their well-being. After the ablutions might come new clothes befitting a man, a feast of thanksgiving, and a time of giving. Afterwards, a council of elders may be convened and the young men brought in one by one to answer the elders' questions regarding their threshold experience. The elders can offer comments and suggestions regarding each young man's future course, personal gifts, life story, etc., in a positive, supportive manner. Within the first two days of their re-entry, the young men must also be given a good deal of time to be alone, to rest, and to reflect on their encounter with the goddess. On the third day after their return, the separate groups reassemble for a mutual celebration of their brotherhood, to formally mark the conclusion of the rite of passage. Soon after, the gathering packs up and return to the community. There, a final celebration of commencement into manhood is held for the new men and all those who had a hand in their childhood growth. The parents can be singled out for special honors for their untiring efforts on behalf of their sons and the community at large. BEGINNING A NEW LIFE When the ceremonies and congratulations are over, the new men enter the mainstream of adult male life. They live apart, independent of home, working for their bread, attending college, enlisting in the armed services, getting married, etc. They do not return to their boyhood living situations unless, for unusual reasons, they cannot do otherwise. If they must return to their old homes, they must henceforth be treated as adults, and adult behavior and attitudes must be expected from them. As the new men grow older and themselves become fathers, they will return to participate as midwives in the births of other men. Within a week or two of the rite's conclusion, most of the candidates will experience a predictable depression, a period of integration when the enormity of the step taken becomes apparent. The new man may feel like forgetting about this manhood nonsense and wish fervently he could be back home in his childhood nest. Such feelings should not be seen as a setback, but as a challenge. For most new men, this depression strengthens their ability and resolve to live as men. Within a few weeks of their return, each group of candidates might plan a reunion meeting with their midwives to discuss their progress in their new lives. Further support meetings might be scheduled by those in the group who feel a further need for them. The emphasis on such meetings would be not on problem-solving but on sharing, friendship, and brotherhood. As time passes, the new men should be weaned away from the glory and hoopla of the rite of passage ceremony and cleave to the goddess and to their "people," those who, as men, they are committed to serve with the give-away of their lives: Now you belong to your greater mother. And you return to her womb to emerge once again, as a man who knows himself not as an individual but a unit of his tribe and a part of all life which ever surrounds him. - Frank Waters, The Man Who Killed The Deer http://www.context.org/ICLIB/IC16/Foster.htm May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~ We swear by Peace and Love to stand, Heart to Heart and Hand to Hand. Mark, O Spirit, and hear us now, confirming this, our Sacred Vow. ~Druidic Prayer of Unity~
Cerredwen		#4	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (11/18/08 06:03 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Men's Mysteries: Rites of Passage By Jim Garrison copyright 1995 In the course of our lives we will undergo certain events that profoundly transform us in ways we could never have guessed. Many cultures have specific rules and rituals for recognizing and celebrating these transformations. There are still indigenous societies where shaman and medicine people assist people through these experiences and help them make meaning of them. We live in a time and in a culture that is sorely lacking in these resources. Passing through a transformative experience--sort of a psychological or spiritual quantum leap where everything takes on a new immediacy and depth--is something that we all go through in the course of growing up. Many of us go through such experiences several times. These are the basic, elemental initiations of the human adventure which seem to be expressed differently for men and women, whether because of societal pressures, inherited programming, or biology. The gender-specific Rites of Passage of coming into Manhood or Womanhood are among the most powerful, most misunderstood and most lacking experiences in our current society. Coming of age in America is a strange and wondrous journey through the unspoken territory of Things We Don't Talk About, past the boundaries of repression and oppression, through the wasteland of pop psychology and television, and over the walls of mediocrity into the jungles of confusion and ignorance. How do you become something when you don't really know just what it is? Many boys come of age and are thrust out into the world to be made into men by various initiatory encounters with alcohol, violence, the military, jobs, drugs, sex, crime, school, or the testosterone fairy. We grow up with all manner of garbage poured into our heads about "You aren't a man until..." Since society really does not know, or even truthfully care, when, or even if we achieve Manhood in our lives, it's ultimately up to each one of us to determine this for ourselves. By defining ourselves and directing our own development toward being what we envision as right and proper for a man to be, we reclaim our Manhood from the chaos around us. It is the work of a man to invent himself and to bring about the rightful expression of his identity as a masculine being on his own terms. It is the realization of this challenge and the onset of the trial we all undergo that marks the passage from boyhood into the search for manhood. This is an experience which can hit us at any time, and may return to challenge us again later on in life when our paths bring us into a place of self-examination. It is the role of the elders of our communities to facilitate the Rites of Passage, to establish the cultural values and rituals which make a man aware of his situation, guide him through it, and assist in the assimilation of the experience. Pagan men need to develop new ways to claim Manhood and for others to attain this recognition, which can be very important to the healthy development of our children and ourselves. Many of us did not have these resources, and there are those among us now who still desire or feel a deep need for a formalized Rite of Passage to help them make that landmark in their life where they can finally be comfortable with who and what they are. Claiming Manhood is not as easy as just saying a few words or jumping through a few hoops. There aren't any degrees to being a man. Either you are, or you aren't. Or is that true? Our societal baggage may be blinding us to something here. By couching the transition from boyhood to manhood, we most often use linear, binary expressions. Isn't this a process which is highly personal and often spread out over the course of years? Can't it take a man most of his life to get around to claiming his Manhood? Where do the homosexual boys and men fit into this scheme of things? If there is any sort of definition for the basic qualities of a man, what might the qualities of a Pagan man be? Can we really hope to set such a thing down on paper and have it mean anything? The Pagan Men's group I was part of once compiled a list of qualities we thought made good goals for a healthy Pagan man. Some of these things were very nice ideas, but most of them were not exclusively the province of Pagans. Perhaps the whole process of defining our Manhood must remain in the hands of the individual and not in the arbitrary laws of some master or Hierophant. But what is this process like? How do we identify this process that we might treat it with respect and act as guides rather than obstacles? Coming of age. Coming into your own. Becoming a man. The major phrases we use for this transition suggests being on a journey. While we are aware that the body made us male, it does not automatically make us men. Adulthood is measured and judged by society on the basis of chronological age. Manhood is measured and acknowledged by our actions, our chosen means of expression, and the fruits of our labors. For many of us, achieving manhood is not necessarily something that gets ticked off on a calendar. Nor can we point to a particular moment and say that it was then that we became men. When we enter into manhood, we do not lose our boyish treasures, but rather see them differently, with a changed perspective. The things we once valued take on new meaning and their power affects us in strange new ways. Many of our forefathers sought to separate or cut themselves off from the things of their youth, at the expense of emotionally and psychically damaging themselves and passing along their hidden wounds to the next generation. Masculinity has been severely twisted by all manner of unfriendly and fearful individuals, many of whom were men themselves. Machismo is not masculinity, nor is violence inherently masculine. A man partakes of masculinity and femininity, even as a woman does, in differing combinations and configurations. We all choose the roles we play. Many fear the cost of changes or following their truest desires. A man defines himself through the things that he brings out in his life, through whatever means come to him, be that dancing, teaching, writing, hunting, healing, or serving others. So how does being Pagan affect all this? Pagan men are the ones who have been drawn to these qualities which I've delineated above and are the guys out there exploring this territory with the help of the Old Gods and Goddesses. A Pagan man is not satisfied with the stale dogma and soul-deadening crap in the mainstream of society which tries to tell us how to be and what to do. We decide our own fates and take responsibility for our own lives. We approach the Gods on our own and we deal with them as we determine is best for us, not as we are dictated by someone else. We celebrate life and seek to fulfill our innate potential, to live to our fullest, to be men we ourselves can respect. Paganism offers a safe place to create sacred space, to share our stories and experiences, and to heal old wounds. Men are free to redefine themselves in Paganism more so than most other religious movements because there are few, if any, hard and fast rules of what a man must behave like. Those roles that have accumulated over the years are also very much open to examination and renewal. We are making this whole thing grow together, and as each of us grows stronger and healthier, more self-actualizing, our circles and groups likewise grow stronger. Synergy. Paganism is more than the sum of its parts, even as each person is much more than a collection of cells. We are more than a bunch of overweight yuppies banging designer drums and brandishing store-bought spears in the state park on the weekend. We're Pagan, we're men, and we're here to play our roles in the New Aeon. May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~ We swear by Peace and Love to stand, Heart to Heart and Hand to Hand. Mark, O Spirit, and hear us now, confirming this, our Sacred Vow. ~Druidic Prayer of Unity~
Spirit Firewaters.spiritofthewitches		#5	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 22 (12/06/08 10:03 AM) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Cerredwen ~ greetings! This is an awesome Rite by Wyrmwood and for me personally, I do not see a whole lot of information celebrating the male's energy . . . would you mind if I copied this Rite to another group I belong with? I had created a topic just specifically for Ceremonial/Rites of Passage information and because of the uniqueness of this Rite I feel it would be a good asset. If your not comfortable with this request of mine, could you perhaps then direct me to a link which I could share such information? Thanks so much! Blessings, Spirit Firewaters
Cerredwen		#6	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (12/06/08 11:21 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Hi Spirit! Of course you can copy and post it. Everything posted here at AP is free for the taking...as long as you share it with proper credit if possible and you do not use it to make any money etc. And any spells, rites recipes etc can be tailored and such as needed as well. I'd like it if you let people know where you found it...if you wouldn't mind. I built this place for others use...add to...share and enjoy...then hopefully come back and share their own thoughts and experiences...and so on. I LOVE it when this place serves it's purpose. Gives me the warm and fuzzies.................... May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~ We swear by Peace and Love to stand, Heart to Heart and Hand to Hand. Mark, O Spirit, and hear us now, confirming this, our Sacred Vow. ~Druidic Prayer of Unity~
Spirit Firewaters.spiritofthewitches		#7	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 22 (12/07/08 10:38 AM) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Thank-you! I will copy exactly as you have it posted and I will post AP at the end stating this is where I found the info! Thanks again and please feel free to visit Spirit of the Witches, if you'd like, of which where I intend to share this info. Blessings, ~Spirit~
Cerredwen		#8	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (04/10/09 10:50 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Seasons of Beauty--Aging Gracefully We tend to associate youth with beauty, but the truth is that beauty transcends every age. Just as a deciduous tree is stunning in all its stages-from its full leafy green in the summer to its naked skeleton during winter and everything in between-human beings are beautiful throughout their life spans. The early years of our lives tend to be about learning and experiencing as much as we possibly can. We move through the world like sponges, absorbing the ideas of other people and the world. Like a tree in spring, we are waking up to the world. In this youthful phase of life, our physical strength, youth, and beauty help open doors and attract attention. Gradually, we begin to use the information we have gathered to form ideas and opinions of our own. As we cultivate our philosophy about life, our beauty becomes as much about what we are saying, doing, and creating as it is about our appearance. Like a tree in summer, we become full, expressive, beautiful, and productive. When the time comes for us to let go of the creations of our middle lives, we are like a tree in autumn dropping leaves, as we release our past attachments and preparing for a new phase of growth. The children move on, and careers shift or end. The lines on our faces, the stretch marks, and the gray hairs are beautiful testaments to the fullness of our experience. In the winter of our lives, we become stripped down to our essence like a tree. We may become more radiant than ever at this stage, because our inner light shines brighter through our eyes as time passes. Beauty at this age comes from the very core of our being-our essence. This essence is a reminder that there is nothing to fear in growing older and that there is a kind of beauty that comes only after one has spent many years on earth. DailyOm.com May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~
Cerredwen		#9	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (05/27/09 01:25 AM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Self-Initiation into Manhood for the Pagan Teen Copyright (c) 2005 by Wyrmwood Is it possible for a boy to undertake a self-initiation into manhood? I think it is possible. Indeed, I felt the need to 'self initiate' myself as a teenager due to the lack of supportive male adults in my life at the time. Unfortunately there are numerous immature and unsuccessful attempts by boys today doing this with their friends by drinking alcohol until they pass out, driving dangerously (with the occasional fatal crash) or doing extreme sports. Self-initiation for me involved a few self-imposed challenges and personal ritual. I felt I was no longer a child and in some ways wanted to prove that to myself. The challenges were mostly physical; bush (forest) walks - initially a day walk, then later an overnight, over difficult terrain and off the beaten track, by myself with my two dogs for company. It was a challenge that I felt was within my abilities but something that I hadn't done before, certainly never that difficult and never by myself, so for me it was a step into the unknown. I did about three of these self-imposed challenges, starting and finishing the challenge with a personal ritual asking for guidance and thanking the gods for my safe passage. I always had in my mind that these challenges were testing my abilities to survive, although I didn't go so far as to put myself into deliberate danger (and I left details where I was going in case something happened). On the evening of the final challenge (the overnight hike) I did a personal ritual 'throwing off' the immaturities of childhood, and 'stepping into' the responsibilities of adulthood. Some of the personal ritual I performed were planned, some came to me on the night. There was symbolism, the ritual was elaborate (to help connect to my higher-self and the earth-spirit), and very personal. I think some essentials for other boys wanting to do a self-initiation because they don't have any supportive males in their life who can guide them through this process, and they feel they have the maturity and need to take this step, would be; Firstly, identify a challenge within reach that requires the abilities of a young man to achieve; Secondly, work towards that challenge (identify the steps required to get you there); Thirdly, plan for danger minimisation without danger elimination (in other words, if its too tame it might not feel like a challenge, but on the other hand it shouldn't cost you your life); Fourthly, use ritual where you feel it is required, but especially within the main challenge; Fifthly, don't be afraid to fail - even men get into difficulty where they need other's help - if something happens where you need help, or the challenge is too difficult or doesn't fulfil your needs, then step back and reassess - ask yourself what went wrong? Were you really ready? Did you plan for everything? What have you learnt from this? Once you have identified the problem, then replan. You may have to make some decisions regarding the information you give to your parents regarding your challenge; if they forbid a particular activity you may be better off in the long run to obey - find something else that they will let you do and then find a way to fit your self-initiation into it (they are still your parents after all!). If you can find trustworthy, supportive adult males, let them know what you are doing and why. Talk over your plan with them - they may identify problems that you haven't seen and provide useful advice. Let them know when you set out for your challenge and when you have finished. If they don't understand or think it's a stupid idea, then you may need to go it alone. The only problem of doing a self-initiation is that it is not recognised by the adults and carers in your life - they may treat you the same at home. The trick is to take on more responsibilities to show you are mature, which may also allow you to have more freedoms. A rite of passage is a symbolic journey from the protection and nurturing of boy's mother and female carers, to being able to stand on your own feet as a young man, supported by your father and other supportive men. It is a space where you make a mental shift, usually with help, to where you can rely on your own skills and abilities to survive. This doesn't mean you immediately move out of home after doing a rite of passage, but it does mean that you are prepared to take on the responsibilities of an adult, and leave behind the child that you are. The following are some suggestions for the changes in attitude expected in taking on the responsibilities of becoming a man. These responsibilities and attitudes are what you should spend time thinking about during your rite of passage, such as your relationship with your brother(s) and/or sister(s), your reliance on mum/dad for support on things you could do yourself, your attitudes to self and family. -- Possible attitudes before rite of passage- * Always fight or argue with brother(s) and/or sister(s) * Allow or rely on mum and/or dad to wake you up in the morning, make your breakfast/lunch/dinner, tidy your room * Thoughts only about self -- Possible attitudes after rite of passage -- * Find ways to get on with your brother(s) and/or sister(s). * Take on the responsibilities of waking up early enough in the morning, maybe getting yourself to school (discuss this with your parents first), making your own lunch/breakfast, making dinner for the family, keep your own room tidy without being reminded. * Thinking about ways to help out the family A very good book that I came across years later that would have helped me at this time was "Secret Men's Business" by John Marsden (PAN Macmillan Publishing, Australia, ISBN 0 330 36074 4) (a non-pagan book but very down-to-earth). Other good reading would be "Celebrating the Male Mysteries" by R.J Stewart May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~
Cerredwen		#10	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (10/12/09 09:14 AM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Rites of Passage: The Aging Pagan Crones and Wise Men--Dancing With Spirit By Sue Curewitz Arthen In 1984, our open Hallows circle began in a slightly unusual way. The darkened room filled slowly as people worked their way through a tunnel into a large ritual space and formed a circle in silence. But just as the circle was about to be cast, there was a ruckus in the tunnel, and a querulous voice demanded, "What the hell is going on here? Who are all these people?" Then, in a more tremulous tone, "Where am I? Why are you all looking at me?" A bag lady, returning for leftovers from the supper for the homeless held in this same hall earlier, entered the circle, and looking around, said, "I know who you are, and I know what you're afraid of. You're afraid of me!" I was the Crone. Playing a modern version of this traditional role, I tugged at the threads that people like to keep hidden, the threads of loneliness, alienation, and fear. And I held the cauldron that the threads were thrown into as people worked toward transformation. For the year following that Hallows circle, I thought I knew what it meant to be a Crone. I was wrong. A wise woman told me recently that although the energies and the aspects of the Crone are certainly present and working in us and our rituals, there is something different about actually crossing the threshold to become the Crone. You have a perspective that includes having been all the other aspects of the Goddess in a tangible reality. There is a validity based on physical experience. A well known choreographer said of being old, "It is like Janus the two-faced God: you can look back and see the past, you can still look ahead and see the future, and you are centered firmly in the present. This is something that the young simply cannot do. They haven't lived long enough." When we get old and look back, what will we see? Does getting older mean getting wiser? As the Pagan community of this decade continues to grow, we have begun to realize that some rites of passage need foresight and planning, such as community rites for adolescents. Some rites may need to be invented, and the rite involving the threshold of our old age is one of those. Rites of passage rituals are part of the common language of the Pagan community today. But most of us do not have access to the example of our Pagan elders, or to their wisdom and their love, unless they are the old ones of our coven. Prior to 1970 and often today, many in the Craft feel that attending gatherings or being involved in the public Pagan community is risky - undermining anonymity and diluting Craft practice. This is especially true of older Pagans and Witches, many of whom want no connection with the community. The time-honored tradition of the young learning from the old while caring for them is almost unachievable in a community where most of us are between 25 and 45 years old. "There is a place and a time where all the elders are called Grandmother and the newcomers are called Daughter. And this is the exchange: the young ones care and the old ones teach. Teach what? Steadfastness. How to dwell in the void. How to in-listen. How to nurture a life-giver whose life is peaking. To begin a clairvoyance of their own life's peaking. Teach how? By touch. In the receiving of touch. By silences. By rambling, fussy, intolerable monologues. By inverting and making subtle their potency they manage to transmit it, woman-to-woman. And the Daughter? She takes the Grandmother's weight against her body, is depended upon. She begins to tap what has been hidden in herself. She comes close to the odors from the old one's openings and crevices, brushes decay from the dentures, changes once again the stained sheets, caresses dried-up limbs with a steaming cloth. And in her elder's aura, in this sheltered, set-apart place where progress happens in a different way, where upward growth has stopped, she receives her inheritance." 1 Generation-to-generation teaching - Grandmother, how do I learn to be an Elder and not just old? What has being old meant up to now? Where are the elders - our parents and grandparents? They are "retired" or preparing to "retire," in a world where active involvement at "work" defines who we are and what we are worth, and does little to recognize and value other kinds of contributions, the "retired" are stigmatized. There is an automatic assumption that "retirement" is total - encompassing home life, politics, and taking action in the world. Whether you retire to a luxury elder hostel or live quietly in the home you raised your family in, you become invisible. By segregating ourselves from our elders, we perpetuate the importance given to youth in this culture, and grow uncomfortable with those who, because of their proximity to death, remind us of out own mortality. If we truly embrace all the cycles of life this kind of segregation is intolerable - and will become even more intolerable when we, in turn, are the ones isolated by our children. Maureen Howard in an article on aging parents, notes, "We believe ourselves to be safely in the midst of our lives, yet we deceive ourselves if we do not see our parents' plight as a run-through, an unhappy dress rehearsal... And still, we speak of them, their truant ways, their foibles. It is they who are slowing down, forgetful - as though we, their children, were set within a sci-fi bubble, magically protected while the old folks mark off the dreary years." 2 Being old often means diminished physical capabilities and beauty but our present society does little to view this aspect of age in any positive light. "Old age in every society brings with it an increase in physical and mental defects, a general weakening of both the body and the mind, but the heart and soul are more alive than ever, with that much more experience to feed upon. So the contribution of old age to society, and the manner of its fulfilling itself, lies in the art of being." 3 The art of being. This phrase raises images of incredible power. In looking through the current issues of any popular news magazine, one thing is clear, old is not the same age it used to be, and whatever the average life expectancy is today will undoubtedly change by the time most of us are ready for Social Security. Richard Atcheson writes, "I have been told that in 12 years the population of people over 85 will double ... and 12 years after that I will be merely 78 and the year will be 2013. and the streets will be jammed with rowdy 85 year olds and their mothers on their way to fancy parties to which I will probably be too young to be invited, " 4 This increased lifespan is changing the meaning of old age in front of our eyes. As the generation in power grows older, they legislate for themselves. Retirement is not mandatory at 65. In every field of endeavor, men and women are not peaking and then declining, but continuing to climb. There are numerous examples of people who are still "doing" - well into their golden years. Deng Xiaoping of China. Queen Elizabeth and Margaret Thatcher of England. Actors and actresses like George Burns, Bob Hope, Katharine Hepburn. Businessmen like An Wang. The generations before us are not handing over the reins, going off quietly, and watching us shape our own future. For many of us, this means an extended middle age - How can we use this time productively to get ready for that stage of our lives? By naming a thing, we begin to make it real. As we move through adulthood, child-rearing and the entrance to middle age, we are already consciously laying the groundwork for the kind of old person we will become. "The future does not happen all at once" a friend told me, "it happens in bits and pieces. Everything you do now becomes part of that future." A daily yoga practice, twenty-five years from now, will bear fruit in a body that is more pliant and ache-free than it would otherwise have been. Multiply that one daily practice by the many you engage in and make permanent. Diet, magickal work, increased sensitivity to others, awareness of the Earth and your relationship to her. Become conscious. Accepting the fact that we are aging, and merging with each cycle of our lives keeps the energy of transition flowing. One Gardnerian elder, at 76, said that he began to realize that he was trying to be 58 at 70. "It was the voice of the Goddess," he said, "that taught me to be able to say 'I've done that' about boating. about fishing, about travel, about many things. and yet realize there are still things for me to do. If the time comes for me to sit in the sun and wait for death, I know now that this also will be right."Accept life. Look for role models. Most of us stop looking for them when we begin to feel a sense of independence in our late teens, but there is much to learn from the men and women who are doing things that we respect and admire. One of my role models, who laughs when I tell her so, is a women who, in her mid-forties had the opportunity to pack down into the Grand Canyon. She was not notably an outdoorswoman, but she sought advice, prepared for the journey and went. An Adventurer, I look at her and say to myself, "I hope that I am still an adventurer when I am 46." She still sets off on adventures, and I still see her as an Adventurer and a good example to draw on for my life. Find old people. Let's conspire to break the chain separating us from old people. If you do not know any "magickal" old people, that does not mean there isn't a circle to be shared with the ones you may find. Many of us have problems with the old people we already know - parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. This offers some choices. The obvious one is to make the time to work out those problems. We, as a group, pride ourselves on working out "mother stuff" or "father stuff" but not many of us do it with those parents directly. One woman I know did that work - painfully, slowly, over years - and manifested a piece of magickal work with a potency untouched by work done in an isolated, internalized series of meditations. If working with your family is not possible, then look to the world around you. There are others. Touch an old one, and listen. Create space for our elders, and for the differences that men and women experience as they age. Women have a real, tangible door through which they step at menopause. As the women of our community cross that threshold, they are sharing it with us in ways that transcend and transform. Menopause, even if it takes years from start to finish, is indeed a doorway. For men. that threshold is more abstract. Who can say when they first cross it? Jokes about sexual prowess aside, it must be odd to recognize that you have less stamina, to notice that your digestive system is more delicate, and your hair is thinner, but to have no perceptible doorway through which to pass, and no real support. Women support each other from the time of their first periods, through birth and miscarriage, female surgery and menopause, sharing the universality of these female mysteries. For men, this kind of mutual support is ephemeral at best. Although men and women reach elderhood at different times and in different ways, both sexes experience the problem of finding a meaningful place as an elder in our youth-oriented culture. We may have moved away from the days when all the illustrations in Pagan publications looked like Barbie dolls, but we have not reached a time when many of them are over 40. And we have yet to create space in our circles for the physically challenged elder by including a few chairs at the appropriate locations for those who want them. At gatherings, we offer space for women, space for men, space for Gays, space for Lesbians, space for the recovering. But no space is offered for our elders. If I were Gay, recovering, wanting a moonlodge, I could find the support group I needed, but we will not be able to find our elders unless we give them space and make them welcome. Create space. Another experience that comes with age is the second Saturn return at about age 56. This Saturn return can be particularly difficult, forcing us to confront the fact that there are some things we may never do and certain goals we may never realize, if we deny this fact, we may become bitter and cynical. By accepting it we can begin to clear the decks, detaching from physical bonds and freeing ourselves to move into the next aspect of our lives in letting go we open to the possibility of extending ourselves, spreading outward sharing what we know, and manifesting the art of being. If we use the energy previously consumed at jobs child-bearing and child-raising to return to the child within, we can come closer to manifesting spirit in our lives. The work of an elder may well be to dance in spirit before dancing with death. The community structures within which our elders might do this work do not now exist. We must build them. Whether we start by creating rituals of passage and providing elders space at gatherings, or decide on a larger community-wide effort we must take the first step, by becoming conscious of our old ones, by touching them and hearing their wisdom, by creating space for them in our circles and our lives, and by accepting that we will all one day be old. I look forward to the ritual of crossing that will celebrate my dance with spirit. I look forward to the sacred space when I truly am a Crone, to shedding decades of attachment, and to dancing naked and free. I will remember my first circle, where I danced in sacred space and shed my clothes to dance naked and free. And by connecting all the circles of my life, I will reveal the spirit in my dance and in my heart. Notes: * Kore Hayes. Lavendar and Silver Sorceress and Apprentice The World Between Women. An Anthology Her books Santa CrU7. CA 198 7 p 64. (taken from a presentation by Deborah Ann Light called "The Crooning of Crones") * Maureen Howard. 'Trading Places Lear s. W@ 2. No. 6. p 99. September 1989 * C(31in Turnbull. The Human Cy(le. Simon & Shuster Inc. New York NY 1984 p 228 * Richard Atcheson 'Our Parents, Ourselves, Lear s Vol. 2, No. 6 p 97, September 1989 SUE CUREWITZ ARTHEN was not a writer when we asked her to undertake the Rites of Passage series. Priestess, Healer and Elder, Sue worked with EarlhSpirit Community's Mooncircle and is the mother of two Pagan children. May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~
Cerredwen		#11	[-]
Walks an Earthbased Path Posts: 11474 (11/11/09 11:18 PM) ~~Priestess of the Goddess~~ Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Transitioning through Life's Phases--Midlife Crisis In our youth-oriented culture, the process of aging is not honored as it once was. There have been societies that looked to those who were older for leadership, understanding that their life experiences must have brought some wisdom with them. Our society tends to put more value on looking youthful, so when the time comes that we don't look, move, or feel the way we once did, this causes a sudden jolt to our perception of ourselves. We can look at this shift as a crisis and fight against change, or we can take the opportunity to transition smoothly to a new phase of life. We spend our youth learning who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing. As we set and reach our goals, it is easy to identify ourselves by our roles. At some point we may feel very comfortable in the idea that we have a complete understanding of ourselves. This is, inevitably, when things change and we get to see ourselves from a new perspective. Those who have reached their goals may wonder where to go from there, feeling uncomfortable with the new choice of parts to play. Others may have to let go of an identity that was built around a goal that was not reached and decide from what foundation to rebuild. Although it can be challenging to shift into a new expression of self, we may find that we're better suited for this fresh path of self-discovery and the new perspective it brings. Whether we find ourselves facing a midlife crisis or any life transition, we can take the time to get in touch with our inner selves. From the unchanging spirit within us, we can accept and embrace the changes that come with the human experience. Examining where we've been and what we've learned can point in the direction of all that we would like to do now and in the future. When we anchor our identity in our spiritual nature, we understand that physical change does not change who we are, but only offers another perspective from which to experience, understand, and celebrate life. www.DailyOm.com May the fruit of our lives be bound and sealed to Thee, O Mother, O Woman Eternal who holdest the inmost life of each of Thy daughters between the hands upon Her Heart ~~~~~~~~~~~ Kimberly Glaser \| Create Your Badge

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Rites of Passage...Celebrations of a Man's Wheel of Life

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